So, a toaster then?

I now give you a typical email thread sent between myself and my two sisters. This one pertains to Christmas gifts for our parents. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent.


From: Tess Stewart
Sent: Monday, November 24, 2008 1:31 PM
To: Megan Stewart; Natalie Stewart
Subject: X-mas gifts for Mom and Dad

Hi Guys,

Wes and I had the pleasure of accompanying Mom and Dad to Costco this weekend to pick up the holiday bird (22 lbs. nice!). A trip that would normally promote suicidal thoughts (while Mom and Dad talk to [Neighbor Man] and then ponder wine selections with this random old man for what seems like 30 minutes) it was actually a good fact finding mission because I found out that Mom and Dad need a new toaster and a new alarm clock. SO, I figured we could pick that stuff up for their X-Mas gifts. Do you guys want to do a joint gift like last year? I can be in charge of picking it up and I am also open to suggestions if you guys think those things are lame. We can also do something else with that if you want to make it more personal.

Anyways, I thought I would open the dialogue now seeing as that’s way better to do that then any actual work. Shhh, don’t tell.

We can talk about this on Thanksgiving too, yippee I can’t wait!!!

-TS

From: Natalie Stewart
Sent: Monday, November 24, 2008 5:27 PM
To: Megan Stewart; Tess Stewart
Subject: Re: X-mas gifts for Mom and Dad

Ladies, and you are-

I think those are some super ideas Tess! I'll try to come up with some other ideas too but I can't think of anything right now, too much pressure and i'm not a frickin' performing monkey. Can't just pull these things out of my ass. How is [Neighbor Man] anyway? Like that transition? Yeah... I was just thinking back to last year and the awesome gifts we got mom and dad then. And I became livid at the thought of the fact that mom and dad still have not bothered with that digital photo frame. I mean for all we know, tj could have swiped that thing and sold it on E-bay by now. So maybe we could just program it for them. We could easily lift that thing w/o their knowledge, since they have clearly wiped any trace of its existence from their memories at this point, and pick out some nice shots to put on it. The biggest problem i forsee with that is narrowing down to a select few pics, since we are all so damn attractive and the selection would be endless... kind of like this e-mail. So to sum it up- let's steal back mom and dad's digital photo frame, we are very good looking. The end.

Nat

PS. Mom needs a blood pressure cuff, she mentioned it in passing yesterday but lets be honest, she was totally dropping x-mas gift hints. B/c everyone knows that nothing says happy holidays like a blood pressure cuff.

From: Tess Stewart
To: Natalie Stewart; Megan Stewart
Sent: Mon, 24 Nov 2008 5:47 pm
Subject: RE: X-mas gifts for Mom and Dad

Oh my gosh, we seriously have like ESPN or something because I was totally thinking that same exact thing about the photo frame. I was worried that if I brought it up my email would be peppered with so many swear words that it would break our email filter and I would get fired.

Let’s remember to bring at least one camera to thanksgiving and get some really good shots of everyone. I guess I won’t wear sweat pants so I look half way decent in the photos. Nice work!

[Neighbor Man] is great by the way. Really spectacular. They’re having thanksgiving at “the cabin” this year. Just a nice rustic family thanksgiving.

-TS

From: Megan Stewart
Sent: Tuesday, November 25, 2008 12:20 PM
To: Tess Stewart; Natalie Stewart
Subject: Re: X-mas gifts for Mom and Dad

wow. that's all i can say. wow. [Neighbor Man]. freaking [Neighbor Man].

now, for the gift idea review. i like the alarm clock idea. i remember mom saying something about their clock and not being able to change the programmed times. not like it makes a bit of difference with ol' early riser. now, they have those alarm clocks that you can dock i-pods. that could act as a good segue gift. i-pods down the road or whatever....at least for tom, the tech whiz. which begs the question, why hasn't he set up that god-blessed frame?

the blood pressure cuff....we'll give her a roll of quarters and she can go use the one up at drug mart.

tess, you giving up sweat pants on an eating oriented holiday? we have a better chance of playing pick-up-sticks with our butt cheeks.

peace be with you, on this our lord's birth.

megan